Friday, May 19, 2006


I click it.
Is this what I think it is? It has to be.
The server is a bit slow.
Why am I doing this in the first place?
If this is what I think it is, then I would probably feel so bad that I would cry.
No.. I WILL cry. It cannot go otherwise.
Then I'd share my sadness with Samar over the phone. I would even send Nawras an email telling him about the heartbreaking experience I had.
The page is opening.
Say this is not what I think it is. I would probably just shrug it off and laugh at my "bad intentions".
Then I would probably call Samar and tell her about how silly I was for having that thought. We'd laugh about it. But again we would think aloud of how ugly it could have been had my assumptions been right.
I would not email Nawras about it. It's not worth it. Such a non-shocking event would be the least of concerns for someone like Nawras.
The page finally opens.
I was right afterall...
She does like a place that I cannot be at.
The girl that speaks of her life lessons; broken pipes and silver bracelets.
She has a happy blog.
She does not draw cartoons.
I have a cartoon "cooking" in my scanner because I was taken by her blog ID that I stumbled upon. I just could not resist discovering "her".
I get amazed on how I just used the word "resist" while talking about an Isreali without having it implying acts of resistance and struggle for existence.
Here it is ... HER very favorite place in the world.
She calls it Hebron.
I call it Al-Khaleel.
I stare at the screen.
.. Why am I not crying?


laila said...

amal..I just read your post twice, and I still have goosebumps. it's a beautiful post
Life is unfair Amal, I can not pretend to understand how you feel. you didnt cry, but what was it that happened instead?
by the way I just discovered this blog, I usually check your awesome cartoons :)

hillz said...

I would replace your :) by my :( in addition to :O

أمل said...

Hey, Laila, nice to see you here ..
Thank you for being a regular visitor for my sketchbook even if you remain silent. :)

Hilal ... speaking of msh7areen, eh? :)

Anonymous said...

i dont get it

Anonymous said...

what i mean is, why can you not go?

samar said...

so much pain..

but we've got nothing but dreams.. and hope..

أمل said...

Samar .. thank you for your visit, keep hope alive..

Anonymous, I wish you had left a more elaborate ID or at least a more elaborate debate.

In short, I am a Palestinian refugee in Lebanon so I do not have access to Palestine.

Anonymous said...

I am an American teenager and I would appreciate if you explained a bit more about yourself and your 'situation'.

Pardon my ignorace, but can you elaborate on what it means that you are a 'palestinian refugee in lebanon'? For how long have you been? And until when? (or is that up in the air?)

Also, who is this Israeli woman and her favorite place? What does it mean? Where is the original link?

I hope that none of these questions were offensive..I do have much to learn.

Ghassan said...

Amal, I loved this post.
a while ago, I was going to dinner with friends and they found this nice middle-eastern place. It's called yafa. I was excited until, I read that they sell israeli newspapers and then I saw the star.. I turned white, I had to steer everyone out of the restaurant... and it was difficult to explain my reaction. not just an Israeli restaurant they took me to but one called yafa!

أمل said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
أمل said...

Ghassan, I bet it was spelled with a "J" too ..

Hope you enjoyed the meal else where.



United Nations General Assembly Resolution 181 called for the partition of the British-ruled Palestine Mandate into a Jewish state and an Arab state. It was approved on November 29, 1947 with 33 votes in favor, 13 against, 10 abstentions and one absent .
The resolution was accepted by the Jews in Palestine, yet rejected by the Arabs in Palestine and the Arab states.

May 15th 1948 my grandparents were forced out of Palestine. They among many other Palestinians fled to the nearby countries one of which is Lebanon. Ever since then there was no return to the homeland which was then declared as the state of Israel. And ever since then my grandparents along with all their descendents became refugees; holding no citizenship and lacking some important civil rights.

Palestinians call this Al-Nakba (arabic for catastrophe)

The Israeli woman I mentioned; who is just another blogger, probably has an opposite story. Her grandparents were immigrants from Europe who settled in Palestine ; their new home, as the british government has promised. And ever since then, they and all of their descendents became Israeli citizens.

Israelies call this Independence Day.

United Nations General Assembly Resolution 194 (11 December 1948)Resolves that the refugees wishing to return to their homes and live at peace with their neighbours should be permitted to do so at the earliest practicable date, and that compensation should be paid for the property of those choosing not to return and for loss of or damage to property which, under principles of international law or in equity, should be made good by the Governments or authorities responsible..


Both of my grandparents died in Lebanon.
And here I am.
Still waiting..

For more information I suggest that you visit the links below .

Thanks for your time.

Anonymous said...

Ok. A lot more is understood now. Much to think about.
I have a silly question, but how come you are not 'resentful' of the israelis today? At least from this post, it didnt seem like it. More like, resigned.

Additionally, what would you say is the percentage of 'palestinian refugees' that have such a fine command of english?

أمل said...


Had I not been resentful I would not have written that post in the first place. I might not be IN Palestine but I exist and so does
my cause. I guess it takes someone who is more indulged in the Arab world to see that.

About the "fine" command of English. It's just a matter of education and education is not nationality related.

I do not believe in mass judgement. Other wise I would have to say that all Americans are democracy maniacs.